Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts

Thursday, May 27, 2010

让老师喷血的答卷

让老师喷血的答卷

1.“床前明月光”,下一句同学填“李白睡的香”…­

2.“三个臭皮匠”下一句他竟然填“臭味都一样”…批卷老师立即晕倒…­

3.陶渊明的“不为五斗米折腰”,那同学斗胆的写“给我六斗就可以”…­

4.“穷则独善其身”,下一句同学填“富则妻妾成群”。­

5.“西塞山前白鹭飞”,下一句“东村河边乌龟爬”?­

6.“天若有情天亦老”,下一句“人若有情死的早”?­

7.“葡萄美酒夜光杯”,下一句“金钱美女一大堆”…­

8.“想当年,金戈铁马”,下一句“看今朝,死缠烂打”…­

9.这个才过瘾!“洛阳亲友如相问”,同学对“请你不要告诉他”…­

1 0.“两情若是长久时”,同学对“该是两人结婚时”­

1 1.“书到用时方恨少”,同学对“钱到月底不够花”…­

12.“清水出芙蓉”,有人写“乱世出英雄”…­

13.“问君能有几多愁”,同学填“恰似一壶二锅头”。­

14.这个绝了!“日照香炉生紫烟,李白来到洗手间,小李飞刀一瞬间,李白变成小太监”…!


­小学生的雷人日记,有本事你别笑

2月30日   星期一  晴

今天一天都没有出太阳,真不好,爸爸买回两条金鱼,养在水缸淹死一条,我很伤心。
老师评语:我也很伤心,我活了这么大,2月还从来没有遇上过一个30号呢!也从来没有见过不出太阳的晴天,更没见过会淹死的金鱼。




1.题目:一边……一边……
小朋友写:他一边脱衣服,一边穿裤子。
老师批语:他到底是要脱还是要穿啊?

2.题目:其中
小朋友写:我的其中一只左脚受伤了。
老师批语:你是蜈蚣吗?

3.题目:陆陆续续
小朋友写:下班了,爸爸陆陆续续的回家了。
老师批语:你到底有几个爸爸呀?

4.题目:难过
小朋友写:我家门前有条水沟很难过。
老师批语:老师更难过。

5.题目:又……又……
小朋友写:我的妈妈又矮又高又胖又瘦。
老师批语;你的妈妈是变形金钢吗?

6.题目:你看
小朋友写:你看什么看!没看过啊
老师批语:没看过

7.题目:欣欣向荣
小朋友写:欣欣向荣荣告白。
老师批语:连续剧不要看太多了!

8.题目:好吃
小朋友写:好吃个屁。
老师批语:有些东西是不能吃的。

9.题目:天真
小朋友写:今天真热。
老师批语:你真天真。

10.题目:果然
小朋友写:昨天我吃水果,然后喝凉水。
老师批语:是词

11.题目:先……再……,例题:先吃饭,再冼澡。
小朋友写:先生,再见!
老师批语:想像力超过了地球人的智慧。

12.题目:况且
小朋友写:一列火车经过,况且况且况且况且况且况
老师批语:我死了算了


Happened to see it on a friend's blog, quite funny, so I post it here ^^
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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Family Jokes

It was translated from Indonesian, I find it funny, so I post it here ^^


Suami: Bagaimana kalau kita berganti posisi malam ini?
Husband: How if we change the position tonight?

Istri: Itu ide bagus - kamu berdiri disamping meja setrikaan dan aku duduk di sofa.
Wife: It is a nice idea - you stand besides the ironing table, and I sit on the sofa.


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------


T: Kenapa Cewek yang sudah merit lebih gendut daripada cewek single?
T: Why are married women fatter than single women?

J: Cewek single kalau pulang, setelah melihat apa yang ada di kulkas langsung pergi ke tempat tidur. Cewek merit kalau pulang, setelah melihat apa yang ada di tempat tidur langsung pergi ke kulkas.
J: When single women come home; After seeing what's on the refrigerator, they directly go to bed. When married women come home; After seeing what's on the bed, they go to the refrigerator.


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Pria bertanya kepada Tuhan: "Tuhan, mengapa Engkau menciptakan wanita
begitu cantik?"
A man asks to God: "God, why do you create woman so beautiful?"

Tuhan berkata: "Itu supaya kamu mencintainya"
God says: "So that you love her"

"Tapi Tuhan", sahut si pria, "mengapa Engkau ciptakan dia begitu tolol?"
"But God", said the man, "why do you create her so fool?"

Tuhan menjawab, "Itu supaya dia mencintaimu"
God answers, "So that she loves you"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Seorang wanita bermimpi di tengah malam dan tiba-tiba berteriak, "Cepat bangun! Suamiku kembali!"
A woman dreams in the middle of the night and suddently shouts, "Hurry, Wake up! My husband is back!"

Pria di sampingnya cepat-cepat bangun, melompat dari jendela, lalu sadar: "Sialan! Aku ini suaminya!"
The man besides her wakes up in a rush, and jumps over the window, then after he realizes it, he says: "Damn! I'm her husband!"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------


Istri: Kamu selalu membawa fotoku didompetmu ke kantor. Kenapa?
Wife: You always keep my photo in your wallet. Why?

Suami: Supaya kalau ada masalah, seberat apapun, aku akan memandang fotomu dan masalah itupun lenyap.
Husband: So that when I meet problems, no matter how hard it is, I can see your photo and the problem will disappear.


Istri: Oh...itu kedengarannya manis sekali. Rupanya fotoku punya pengaruh yang hebat juga ya buatmu.
Wife: Oh... It sounds so sweet. I've just realized my photo influence you that much.

Suami: Tentu saja. Aku cukup memandang foto itu dan berkata pada diri sendiri: Memangnya masalah apa yg bisa lebih besar dari ini!
Husband: Of course. I only have to see your photo and says to myself: Is there any bigger problem than this one!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------


Si cewek: Nanti kalo sudah menikah, aku mau berbagi semua kekuatiran dan masalahmu dan membantu meringankan bebanmu.
Girl: Later, when we are married, I want to share all your worries and your problems, and lighten your burden.

Si cowok: Wah kamu baik sekali. Tapi aku ngga punya kekuatiran atau masalah apapun.
Boy: Wow, you are so kind. But I don't have any worries.

Si cewek: Itu kan karena kita belum menikah.
Girl: Yeah, that's because we are not married yet.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Anak: Mama, tadi waktu di angkot sama papa, dia minta saya nyerahin tempat duduk saya buat penumpang cewek.
Child: Mom, just now when I was in the bus with dad, he asked me to give my seat to a woman.

Mama: Itu memang sikap yang baik.
Mom: That's a good attitude.

Anak: Tapi Ma, aku kan duduk di pangkuan Papa.
Child: But Mom, I was sitting on dad's lap.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Seorang pria yg baru saja merit bertanya kepada istrinya: "Seandainya tadinya Papaku ngga mewariskan kekayaan kepadaku, apa kamu mau juga menikah?"
A newly married man asks to his wife: "If my father didn't inherit his wealth to me, will you still marry me?"

"Sayang", jawab si istri, "Aku tetap menikahi kamu, ngga peduli siapa yang mewariskan kekayaan padamu"
"Honey", answered the wife, "I will still marry you, no matter who inherits his wealth to you"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Wawancara dengan jutawan
Interview with a millionaire

T: Siapa yang Anda anggap berjasa atas keadaan Anda yg sekarang berstatus jutawan?
T: Who do you think take the most role in your status as a millionaire now?

J: Istri saya.
J: My wife.

T: Wow...pastilah dia wanita hebat. Bisakah Anda menceritakan keadaan Anda sebelumnya?
T: Wow...she must be a great woman. Can you tell us your condition before?

J: Sebelumnya saya milyarder.
J: Before, I was a billionaire.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Istri bertanya kepada suami: "Mana yang kamu paling suka dari aku - wajah cantikku atau tubuh sexy-ku?"
A wife asks to his husband: "Which part do you like most from me, my beautiful face or my sexy body?"

Suami menatapnya dari atas ke bawah dan menjawab, "Aku suka sense of humor-mu".
The husband see her from the top to the bottom and answered, "I like your sense of humor".



Blue: Indonesian
Green: English
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