Family Jokes

It was translated from Indonesian, I find it funny, so I post it here ^^

Suami: Bagaimana kalau kita berganti posisi malam ini?
Husband: How if we change the position tonight?

Istri: Itu ide bagus - kamu berdiri disamping meja setrikaan dan aku duduk di sofa.
Wife: It is a nice idea - you stand besides the ironing table, and I sit on the sofa.


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T: Kenapa Cewek yang sudah merit lebih gendut daripada cewek single?
T: Why are married women fatter than single women?

J: Cewek single kalau pulang, setelah melihat apa yang ada di kulkas langsung pergi ke tempat tidur. Cewek merit kalau pulang, setelah melihat apa yang ada di tempat tidur langsung pergi ke kulkas.
J: When single women come home; After seeing what's on the refrigerator, they directly go to bed. When married women come home; After seeing what's on the bed, they go to the refrigerator.


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Pria bertanya kepada Tuhan: "Tuhan, mengapa Engkau menciptakan wanita
begitu cantik?"
A man asks to God: "God, why do you create woman so beautiful?"

Tuhan berkata: "Itu supaya kamu mencintainya"
God says: "So that you love her"

"Tapi Tuhan", sahut si pria, "mengapa Engkau ciptakan dia begitu tolol?"
"But God", said the man, "why do you create her so fool?"

Tuhan menjawab, "Itu supaya dia mencintaimu"
God answers, "So that she loves you"

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Seorang wanita bermimpi di tengah malam dan tiba-tiba berteriak, "Cepat bangun! Suamiku kembali!"
A woman dreams in the middle of the night and suddently shouts, "Hurry, Wake up! My husband is back!"

Pria di sampingnya cepat-cepat bangun, melompat dari jendela, lalu sadar: "Sialan! Aku ini suaminya!"
The man besides her wakes up in a rush, and jumps over the window, then after he realizes it, he says: "Damn! I'm her husband!"

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Istri: Kamu selalu membawa fotoku didompetmu ke kantor. Kenapa?
Wife: You always keep my photo in your wallet. Why?

Suami: Supaya kalau ada masalah, seberat apapun, aku akan memandang fotomu dan masalah itupun lenyap.
Husband: So that when I meet problems, no matter how hard it is, I can see your photo and the problem will disappear.


Istri: Oh...itu kedengarannya manis sekali. Rupanya fotoku punya pengaruh yang hebat juga ya buatmu.
Wife: Oh... It sounds so sweet. I've just realized my photo influence you that much.

Suami: Tentu saja. Aku cukup memandang foto itu dan berkata pada diri sendiri: Memangnya masalah apa yg bisa lebih besar dari ini!
Husband: Of course. I only have to see your photo and says to myself: Is there any bigger problem than this one!

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Si cewek: Nanti kalo sudah menikah, aku mau berbagi semua kekuatiran dan masalahmu dan membantu meringankan bebanmu.
Girl: Later, when we are married, I want to share all your worries and your problems, and lighten your burden.

Si cowok: Wah kamu baik sekali. Tapi aku ngga punya kekuatiran atau masalah apapun.
Boy: Wow, you are so kind. But I don't have any worries.

Si cewek: Itu kan karena kita belum menikah.
Girl: Yeah, that's because we are not married yet.

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Anak: Mama, tadi waktu di angkot sama papa, dia minta saya nyerahin tempat duduk saya buat penumpang cewek.
Child: Mom, just now when I was in the bus with dad, he asked me to give my seat to a woman.

Mama: Itu memang sikap yang baik.
Mom: That's a good attitude.

Anak: Tapi Ma, aku kan duduk di pangkuan Papa.
Child: But Mom, I was sitting on dad's lap.

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Seorang pria yg baru saja merit bertanya kepada istrinya: "Seandainya tadinya Papaku ngga mewariskan kekayaan kepadaku, apa kamu mau juga menikah?"
A newly married man asks to his wife: "If my father didn't inherit his wealth to me, will you still marry me?"

"Sayang", jawab si istri, "Aku tetap menikahi kamu, ngga peduli siapa yang mewariskan kekayaan padamu"
"Honey", answered the wife, "I will still marry you, no matter who inherits his wealth to you"

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Wawancara dengan jutawan
Interview with a millionaire

T: Siapa yang Anda anggap berjasa atas keadaan Anda yg sekarang berstatus jutawan?
T: Who do you think take the most role in your status as a millionaire now?

J: Istri saya.
J: My wife.

T: Wow...pastilah dia wanita hebat. Bisakah Anda menceritakan keadaan Anda sebelumnya?
T: Wow...she must be a great woman. Can you tell us your condition before?

J: Sebelumnya saya milyarder.
J: Before, I was a billionaire.

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Istri bertanya kepada suami: "Mana yang kamu paling suka dari aku - wajah cantikku atau tubuh sexy-ku?"
A wife asks to his husband: "Which part do you like most from me, my beautiful face or my sexy body?"

Suami menatapnya dari atas ke bawah dan menjawab, "Aku suka sense of humor-mu".
The husband see her from the top to the bottom and answered, "I like your sense of humor".

Blue: Indonesian
Green: English